


Before You Go

by JessicaPendragon



Series: Canon Keela Lavellan [43]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Pre-Trespasser, post-solavellan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 01:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5187683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaPendragon/pseuds/JessicaPendragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Farewells can be fresh starts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before You Go

_Follow up to[this](http://jessicapendragon.tumblr.com/post/131663381319/keelas-30-day-challenge-day-22). _

 

“We’ll be ready to leave in a half an hour, Inquisitor. Just loading up the last of the wagons.”

Keela looks down from the steps of Skyhold to the caravan waiting before the gate. Josephine flits between wagons with her board in hand while Cullen’s charger paws impatiently at the ground off to the side. There are a dozen or so more soldiers milling about in unknown formations and none of the other familiar faces she once set upon the road with in the past. 

It has been more than a year since she’s seen most of them. That will change, however, in a week’s time. They will march into the Winter Palace for this Exalted Council and she finds the prospects of dealing with Ferelden and Orlesian politics worth it to see them all again.

All but one of them, that is.

“Good. I’ll be down shortly.” 

Her feet carry her back into the hall and she does her best to avoid looking towards the rotunda as she veers to the left. The gardens are unnaturally warm as always and the sun seems to shine just a little brighter, yet her feet feel heavy, her mind clouded. Keela easily finds her target despite the gentle shade cast by the gazebo above him. She takes her time across the gentle earth and tries to fool herself into believing it is for his benefit when it is her heart that trembles.

His eyes are on her as she crests the first step and pauses, waiting to see if she is still welcomed within his sight. It has been a few weeks since they were trapped within ruins and almost became unwillingly relics themselves. Keela glances down at the thick cast wrapped around his right leg up to his thigh and feels that same stab of guilt she’s been avoiding since then. 

They have spoken little, meaningless words passing by each other without even hearing. She thought everything worth saying has already come and gone, that their dream was over, but she has lain awake at night thinking of little else. Thinking of him and the things she wishes she could take back. 

With a deep breath she lifts her gaze to meet his. “Rylen.”

He tilts his head. “Inquisitor. I hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t get up and bow. I thought you’d be long gone by now.”

It is said in the same manner as always, the cut of sarcasm tempered by his good nature, but his eyes are a darker shade of blue than normal. Harder and closed and she does not feel like the mighty savior of Thedas under them. She feels like a criminal must before the Inquisition’s throne, but she straightens her back and takes a step forward.

“We are leaving soon but I...may I join you?”

“Come in and have a seat.” She moves a few feet further but doesn’t accept the full offer. There’s too much inside to remain still. He laughs at her refusal and she wants to believe it’s genuine. “As you wish then. What can I do for you, Inquisitor?”

“Stop calling me that for one,” she snaps back and lets the quick burst of anger fuel her courage and burn away everything else. “I’m here because it was my turn.”

“Come again?”

“The game we were playing in the ruins. You had the last questions and now it is my turn to ask you something.”

It is a long shot, she knows. That game ended as their something relationship did when she could not lie and tell him her love was something free to give. But she’s spent the last several sleepless nights wishing it was true, finally realizing she is the only one that can make it so. If given the chance.

Rylen looks at her, searching, and she weathers his gaze with no more fear beating inside. It has been too long since she had something to fight for and she holds onto that lost feeling once more. In the end, it is he that looks away. “I’m sure to regret this, but go ahead.”

For this she does sit down to steady herself for what is to come. It is now or never. “Do you love me?”

“I do believe one of the rules was we couldn’t ask the same question twice.”

“Rylen.” She resists the urge to roll her eyes.

He is quiet for a moment before answering. “You can’t keep giving me pieces and saving the rest for what’s come and gone.”

“I know. I needed time and I have been afraid. Of too many things, but I’m not-” _I’m not him,_  she wants to say, but it’s still a tangle of self doubt in her throat. She doesn’t want it anymore, to keep swallowing lies and failures that were never her own. “I love you. I want you, us. I am sorry it’s taken me so long, that I haven’t been blindly stubborn, and I...Rylen, I-” 

He reaches out and places a hand upon her arm. “Hush, love. Hush.”

She gives a laugh stuck on a sob to hear the endearment from his lips again. It is more than name. He pulls gently and she falls without a struggle into the warmth of his embrace, holding on tight to him and this chance to begin anew. “I’ll stay here until you get back from the council and then we go from there, eh? It’ll be good, give us both some time to think. And who knows, you might find some lordling to sweep you off your feet. What’s the fellow’s name that whipped you up that poem, d’Arsebenoit?”

“Roman d'Aubigné,” she says with another laugh, louder this time. “I could order you to come with us.”

“And subject me to those vultures in such a state? Thought you just said you fancied me.”

“I would protect you,” she says and moves away to see his smirk. A warmth is spreading through, the tingling edges of nervousness receding away to leave something that feels impossible. “You didn’t really answer my question.”

“Is that a fact then? Well, before you go...” His mouth tastes like mint and feels like a promise. A strong hand wraps around her jaw as a calloused finger rubs small circles into her cheek. She once lamented the differences, aching for another’s touch, unable to see how love can come in many ways and is never less because of it. It is not the same but something new and something wonderful all its own. “I love you, you beautiful, frustrating she-elf. Now, get going.”

When she enters the main hall this time she forgets to tell herself not to look towards the rotunda and passes by it without a thought, eyes and mind focused only on the future and a hopeful kiss still warm on her lips. Her feet practically fly down the steps, lighter than they have been for years and eager to be off. She has a new reason to see this council concluded as soon as possible. After its end, everything will be different.

 


End file.
